All we do.. we do, in memory of you.

Sarah Avery would have been 16 on December 2nd at 5:50am. She has been gone for 14 1/2 years and we still are surprised by her absence. Her short life was not lived in vain. Lives were changed because of her life and we live each day to honor her memory and the blessings she left with us. Tod and I see through different eyes now. We are not survivors of a loss - we are believers in Sarah's purpose and believe firmly in our families reunion. We believe in God's purpose (though this belief did not come quickly or easily - it was a difficult, dark, disturbing, and painful journey - but the destination is well worth the journey) and have faith in God's promises.

I can remember her well. I remember the sound of her voice.. the way she smelled... her laugh... her cry... her touch... the feel of her face resting on my shoulder and her breath on my neck. I remember the moment I met her... the change that happened in me was tremendous and I became a mom first and foremost (this was her gift to her sisters and brother). Her love for her Toddy... she would bang her head to rock songs when he played CD's. She would only go to sleep if he put her in bed. Her inability to eat without a mess (spaghetti face!). The way she ate thin mints. She would pee on Tod right before he put her in the bath no matter how long she sat on the potty! :-) Sarah, Tuesday, and Hannah licking ketchup off french fries and making art on paper plates at the kitchen table. Sarah's face on Christmas morning... our financially poorest Christmas ever.. we made all her gifts (the cardboard house pictured below is one of the things we made).. and she showed such joy for her gifts. Sarah was an angel for Halloween, her only Halloween, and she is our angel today.

Today we remember (though we remember every day).. and we celebrate.. her life.. her impact.. her joy... our faith, which was her true gift and purpose was to bring us to our knees (which her memory frequently does bring us to our knees in anguish and hope), to God, and fill us with faith and hope.

We treasure and miss you, Sarah. Our heart aches for the emptiness that remains when we ponder what could have been or would have been... but we would not return you to this place, for you now are free of the world and know true joy and peace. We will see you again.. and for that we are eternally thankful and hopeful.

All we do.. we do, in memory of you.

Always Missing Sarah (ams)

Pictures below...

Me, pregnant, yikes! I don't know which is more terrifying.. the hair.. the stirrup pants... the giant onesy... the terrifying smile... sheesh, horrific!Sarah, smiley face, in her bouncy chair!Sarah.. an angel for Halloween... and always in our hearts...Sarah's first birthday party.. first birthday hat... her only birthday here with us...

Sarah loved to ride bikes with her Toddy... and she wore the helmet all the time! The high chair she used was my Grandmother (Mammie's), my mothers, mine and my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and my children's high chair.. such an honor. Karen - this one is for you! Can you believe it? They didn't bother her AT ALL.. she just left them and smashed her thin mints! Check out the picture below the sock ears picture.. make it big.. you can truly see the gift of good ears :-) The headband could not contain them!Chuck-e-cheese, first birthday party! Tod and I called this 'the heap' and she did it when she didn't get her way.. this was with her Aunt Lizzy! She was trying to decide if she was going to cooperate and be stubborn.. it is our secret what she decided!
This is the moment I mentioned above when she saw her house we made her for Christmas... she was so grateful and surprised. All free (Barney balloon?).. or bought from garage sales...Sarah's infamous spaghetti face!
Until we meet again....